FEMINASTY.NET

Don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to enjoy your day off, just lounging around watching reruns of your favorite shitty CW shows, when suddenly you find yourself crying over graham cracker commercials?

…Okay, so. Just me?

For those who manage their media consumption in a way that isn’t constantly feeding them commercials, I’m referring to Honey Maid’s ‘This Is Wholesome’ campaign, and the ads (built from a whole ‘documentary’ series on the kids and families featured, short segments that cherish and celebrate differences and uniqueness and fundamental similarities) which started airing back in March of last year.

It’s a commercial. Featuring families in cute family settings, making s’mores and eating Teddy Grahams. I mean, sure, okay, that baby has two dads, and those multi-racial families aren’t usually on my cereal boxes, but like, no big deal, right? Wholesome. Cute. Right?

Of course, in this day and age of self-importance, bloated opinions, and Twitter handles, you can bet a select few folks had some things to say about that, and say it they did. Enough so that Honey Maid, or whatever darling human is in charge of their marketing, followed up with this response.

It’s shameless and unapologetic, scorching yet gentle, beautiful and inspiring and as wonderfully filled with that message of everyday-wholesomeness as that first innocent ad was, and just generally really fucking heartwarming.

Really, it’s just a marketing campaign. Some decent ideas and professional camera angles and a little editing, cleverly cut into a 30-second clip. It’s literally meant to encourage getting products off the shelves, and dollars into executive pockets.

And yet, as I sat in bed casually weeping over YouTube playlists, trying to figure out why watching a little girl throw her arms around her tattooed punk rock dad had started the waterworks this morning, I realized that it really is about so much more than that.

It’s about normalizing what still gets pointed out as being different. It’s about that little girl seeing a family as colorful as her own on TV. It’s about that little boy, and his classmates not thinking twice when they see two dads dropping him off at school. It’s about those kids not feeling like they’re worth any less when they only have one parent cheering them on in the stands.

It’s about putting that image out there in a way that isn’t actually meant to be a statement, and that being the biggest statement of all. It’s about a recognizable name and product, and the culturally-ingrained ideals they’re associated with, standing behind their own message, and doing so downright beautifully, with art, and human goodness, and story-telling.

So yeah. I shed a tear over crackers today. And I’m pretty damn okay with that.

Though, now, before anyone gets too up-in-arms (because hell knows we do seem to love to do that, don’t we?) about those not getting included in this campaign – the foster and adoptive families, the transgender parents, the endless combinations of race and religion and identity that can come together harmoniously, even the paired or single adults who don’t have or want kids but would still like a piece of this ‘wholesome’ feeling – let’s all just take a moment to remember that, well-

This is still just about graham crackers.

So just appreciate the message for what it is – love, and let love, as boldly as you can. And never turn down a s’more.

I’m a vapid narcissist. Or something. I’m also obsessed with Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space" for reasons that are probably going to become really obvious in about two paragraphs.

I have dating ADHD (technical term that I just made up, DSM review pending). I meet men in whatever ways and talk to them for a while. Maybe I actually go out with them; maybe I don’t. Maybe we never move beyond texting and seeing each other that one time at a friend’s cheesy horror movie marathon party. Who knows. But before it even gets started, it’s over.

When my professional life allows for some kind of personal time, I go on a fair amount of dates. Excuse me, I go on first dates. That’s been my pattern for so long, actually, that when I was faced with wanting to accept an invitation for a second date, I had to sit down and consciously think of the last time I had gone out with someone more than once.

In before the you’re-probably-a-shrill-hideous-harpy: I’m asked on these second dates plenty. Most men I go out with ask to see me again. But I turn them down. I have no interest in seeing them a second time in as many weeks, months, sometimes decades is even too much.

Don’t get me wrong. They’re generally perfectly nice dudes. We share interests or a sense of humor. We run in the same social circle. There’s a veritable plethora of reasons to continue seeing them. Yet, there I am, going through the hassle of a break up with a stage five clinger who doesn’t think he’s clingy and who I’m not officially tied to. I have to break out the blatant, blunt, bad bitch texts that have become my go to: It’s not me, it’s you; I’m bored, and you’re boring; please make some friends and stop texting me.

They’re usually shocked and stunned with no idea how to react. To be fair, I don’t think anyone knows what to say to that. No one’s actively teaching people that in some “How to deal with a not-breakup-breakup" course for beginners. Am I really the only person, the only woman of the mid to late 20s era to give it up and tell them exactly what I think?

And why, pray tell, is it so damn shocking? I want chemistry. I want butterflies. I want to be enamored with someone enough that I’m excited to see them again and upset when work runs over and I have to cancel plans at the last minute twice in a row. This is the same criteria I use for my friends, so why should it be any different with men?

They’re nice (in the sense that they don’t ironically call themselves “nice guys" in a sadly unironic tone). They hit some of the many check boxes on the “boyfriend material" guide. But, holy hell, they’re boring. There’s nothing in it for me. I’m not going to apologize for not wasting my time. I’m not going to apologize for not settling for men that don’t keep me invested for longer than it takes to have a chicken ceasar salad and two overpriced glasses of moscato.

All of that is surprising for everyone. I don’t really know why. I’m direct. I don’t pretend to be anything I’m not, and I don’t plan on spending time with someone I don’t care to know or see any sort of future with, even if that future extends only so far as the release of Avengers: Age of Ultron or Fall Out Boy’s release date for “American Beauty/American Psycho."

So obviously, I’m overly connected with the sass level of “Blank Space" and lines like “I can make the bad guys good for a weekend," “find out what you want, be that girl for a month," and “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

Hell, I also probably have a list of ex-almosts who would tell you I’m insane.

But I’m okay with that.

Do I get bonus points from the fedoras for at least admitting that my relationship issues are mostly my own approach? Doubt it, but whatever. They’re probably also dull, and that’s funny to me.

This might be old news.

It must be because it was posted on about nine days ago on all the major news blogs. But its been cold outside and cold in my apartment and my fingers have been too frozen to want to do more than scroll through tumblr. But nevertheless, this video might be the most incredible thing I’ve seen in a long time and that’s not just because it had me crying in bed at 3 o’clock in the morning (which is when I do all of my upset-at-society kind of bawling).

Belissa Escobedo, Rhiannon McGavin, and Zariya Allen are just a few of the girls who make up the organization Get Lit, an Los Angeles-based non-profit that specializes in inspiring teens to read through the power of slam poetry.

And while they might barely be adults- their thoughtful, provoking, damn right freaking pissed off performance might be the most adult take on childrens’ literacy I have ever seen.

So, please- settle into your sheets, grab a box of tissues and get to watching.

The term can come up at the strangest moments, from the people you expect it least to utter it. Politically correct. Usually combined with “too" or “I hate how [..] everything has become.".

What is political(ly) correct? Does it have a bad reputation for a reason or does it suffer from the same syndrome feminism does? Namely, patriarchy and mainstream media being better off if people make negative connections to the idea? I hope you won’t be surprised reading that it’s the second option.

What is politically correct? Depends on whose politics you’re participating in. Dutch people can call anti Black Pete protesters too politically correct without everyone lynching them for being blind mofos. But find me an American (a sane one) that will go “Hey, black face is a-okay when it’s tradition!"

So location comes into it. Sanity as well, and thinking about people outside your own bubble. Not having the emotional range of a toddler is also necessary to support the idea of political correctness without being offended by it.

To sidestep just for a second: people you shouldn’t support for any reason: rapists, frauds (the banker-sized ones), murderers, abusers and other vile things you can thing of. Not in a “Lemme play devil’s advocate" – way, not in the “But he’s such a talent"-way. Politically correct doesn’t even come into this if I tell you you’re wrong for this, it’s just plain sanity. Some people you just don’t support.

Anyway, the eternal toddler state that makes an outcry of Too Politically Correct (TPC) so very easy. Most often you find this in white men, anyone else with a big amount of privilege a close second. These people have been told – consciously and unconsciously – for their entire life that they can do what they want to do and what they do and say is a worthwhile addition to society. Try to tell those people that their ideas and opinions aren’t like hearing angels sing. That society has started to evolve (so very slowly) to a better place for people of color and women.

Oh no, it’s really all our fault that these poor privileged people are uncomfortable? Should we cut them a little slack? Try to be less annoyingly politically correct?
Let’s not. Because we, the not-straight people, the not-white people, the not-men, the not-rich and so on, deserve more to be viewed like humans than the egos of these toddlers deserve nary a scratch.

Let’s just play devil’s advocate here: can there be TOO much political correctness? Is it a destroyer of dialogue?
Maybe a teensy tiny little, used by those that rather derail a debate than add to it, or who can’t manage to hear that their view of the world isn’t perfect. It’s the same people claiming that reverse racism is a thing, probably. But those people don’t converse to hear your opinion, they talk because they want to be heard. Too much political correctness is like saying you can be a TOO functional member of society. Oh no, you’re a decent person!

Greetings, and welcome. Today I’m going to take you along to show you that unicorns do exist. Possibly even in your surroundings. Maybe you even know one!

I’m talking about bisexuals. Yes, those not-straight/not-gay people.

“Someone has a gay fiancé." How To Get Away With Murder’s Connor has an excuse to not call Michaela’s fiancé (that slept with him, slept with her) bisexual. Connor really is gay, and some of those think bisexuality only exists as a step up to admitting being gay/getting out of the closet. What do you mean, liking both men and women? Not in this world!

To prevent yells of gay-bashing: some straight people think the same. “Okay, but come out", “Bisexual with 98% same sex love, amirite?"

First of all, gay and straight people and everyone else has no right to say anything about what bisexuality is and what makes a good bisexual.

Second, just like straight people stay straight, even after having a “man crush" (AKA superficial interest in the same sex but NO HOMO), bisexuals don’t come less bisexual if they date the same sex more than the opposite one. If they admit preferring sex with women and relationships with men. If they marry a man (Hi, Anna Paquin).

But seriously: if you admit to heterosexuality and homosexuality being a real thing, why can’t you wrap your mind around the thing that overlaps both? Why should you even be bothered by bisexuals? Are you jealous that they can be attracted to more people?

To be honest, I don’t even care much about the opinions of strangers on the internet. I want TV-show writers to start using the b-word. That sex with men before women doesn’t always mean closeted guy, that woman flirting with woman isn’t just for the man nearby, but possibly for the both of them. Go with “bi" if bisexual is a too long word or not sexy enough.

When/if people will get used to the idea, I will move on to the “Bisexuals are greedy sex addicts that can’t be monogamous" bullshit.

In the mean time, Michaela? Let your fiancé explain that he’s with you now, and that he loves you now. Like how it should be in any relationship.